who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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