he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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