Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
