You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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