Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
