I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
