I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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