The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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