So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
