I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
