Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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