i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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