I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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