So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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