if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
