did you get engaged???
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
