he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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