i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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