he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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