Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
