Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
