Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
