I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
