No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
