Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
