Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
