i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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