"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
