Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
