I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
