TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We have started to decorate penises.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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