i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize