He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
