So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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