After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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