Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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