he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
