dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
