the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
