best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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