I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
