I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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