Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
