I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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