We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
