eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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