My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
