my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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