ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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