we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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