wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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