Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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