Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
