just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
