He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize