i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
