I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
