found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
