he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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