She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
