hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
