OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
