I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
