i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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