Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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