I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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