They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
