My Higher Power is John Stamos
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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