around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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