So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
