I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
