lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
