Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
