So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
