I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
