So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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