So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
