I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
