She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize