When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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