hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
