Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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