Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
