I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
